Thursday, February 21, 2008

"Just keep swimming," says Dory

Watching the lunar eclipse before reminded me of being in New York, because it's one of those times when you realize how small you are in the scheme of things . . . but instead of feeling insignificant you feel more connected to everything because you're a part of something so big and awesome.

The future is starting to worry me a little bit. Worry's not the right word. It's . . . becoming more apparent, I guess. The reality of becoming an adult member of society is becoming more apparent, and I'm starting to wonder where I'll fit in. It's daunting. And if I learned anything from the whole college application process, it's that while being idealistic is nice and all as far as creating goals is concerned, when things don't turn out exactly as you expected them to, it just sets you back. I don't really know what the conclusion of this thought process is, but the whole thing has just been on my mind a lot.

I've been so distracted lately, partly because I really miss home. I'm also doing that thing where I worry about my schoolwork so much that it prevents me from actually getting it done . . . the not sleeping thing doesn't help, either. Anyways, because my brain has all but exploded I feel like my social skills have been very sub-par and it's not for lack of caring; I just can't seem to get it together.

I don't know. I feel like I'm treading water instead of actually swimming.

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