Mommy and me

This is the best weekend in a while.

Freshman blues

I took a five-hour nap today, so being up right now doesn't bother me.

I also talked to Katy about transferring; she encouraged me to at least look around because if anything it'll help solidify reasons why Geneseo does work for me . . . she went through a similar thing last year as far as doubts about being here are concerned.

It's unsurprising, I guess, that the gripes I have with this place reflect the trepidations I had when looking at schools senior year. I wanted to be in a somewhat metropolitan area, and I didn't want to be too far from home. I didn't want to be shipped upstate somewhere where the only activity on the weekends is drinking.

Funny how things work out.

When I really put everything into perspective, I'm about 95% sure that I'm staying. I couldn't ask for better friends here, I have a scholarship, and there's no way I'll be able to transfer all my credits and be paying a comparable tuition somewhere else. What I need is a reality check, an assurance that yes, there is a world outside this campus and yes, I am still a part of it.

Katy told me that while everyone says the first semester is hard, the reality is that the first year is the hardest of your life. I believe her completely, but I just find it so difficult to grasp that it'll take a full quarter of my undergraduate career to adjust . . . and I think that's why I'm so skeptical right now.

(exhale)

For the first time in a while, things seem okay because everything in my life is on the same plane.

I'm through

I looked down and I didn't know what to think
Vapor trails from the engine of this plane
Shut my eyes and I flew right from this place
Made a wish and I blew it all away
Then I was alone

Right now the sun fills up the sky
And waves of color beat in time
Tell all my friends I'm seeing them again
I'm on a great divide
There is no doubt, I'm never coming back
The story of my life

I was down and I did not understand
Was afraid couldn't wash it off my hands
So I rose and I flew right from that place
Got my wish that I'll never be the same
Then I was alone

Right now the sun fills up the sky
And waves of color beat in time
Tell all my friends I'm seeing them again
I'm on a great divide
There is no doubt, I'm never coming back
The story of my life
Now I'm fine

I'm through

Then I was alone
But it won't be long

I'm through

Guster

Serenade me with sheep's guts

We all have our weird ways of dealing with stuff. Some people exercise, others go driving. My mom moves furniture. I take epically long showers. You could look at it metaphorically, I guess . . . washing troubles away, etc. etc. Anyways, after posting last night I took a forty minute shower, during which time I departmentalized everything that was bothering me, categorizing problems into things I have control over and things that I don't.

It was quite effective.

I'm currently in love with Fruit Bats; they make me wish I could set words to music. Or at least be able to shoddily play guitar or something. Speaking of guitars . . .

"Is it not strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out of men's bodies?"
-Benedick, Much Ado About Nothing

He was referring to the strings of a lute or guitar or whatever they played in Shakespeare's time; they used to be made out of sheep intestine. God, I love Shakespeare.